What is a good way to remove an anal cyst without going to the doctor?

I don't have health insurance and I cant afford to go to the doctor. What is a quick, safe, and hopefully painless way to remove an anal cyst? I have been told to lop it off with toenail clippers, but I'm kind of nervous. What are some other options?

What is a good way to remove an anal cyst without going to the doctor?
clip it off with a nail cutter. Also spread bacon grease on the wound. When done spread mud all over your rear and I PROMISE you will be healed. My possum had the same problem and this worked really well for him. He hasnt eaten since then too
Reply:My father in law said " to take a hot poker and burn that **** off." But i would say find a doctor that will take payments, you might end up worse off then before if you do it yourself.
Reply:*rolls eyes*
Reply:INSERT ONE M-80. LIGHT FUSE. RUN AWAY
Reply:Work out a payment plan with the doctor's office. Sometimes cysts can be cancerous.





This is revolting. Are you actually serious?
Reply:Go to Meatsickles house and ask stinky to chew it off.
Reply:If you can reach it tie it off with dental floss, real tight. I can't imagine a Friend doing it for you. That would be a good Friend!
Reply:Pay a hooker to bite it off.
Reply:ewww
Reply:gross.
Reply:No. There is not other way other than going to a doctor. Go to Canada or Mexico for the procedure. It's cheaper.
Reply:black and decker sander----that'll do it !
Reply:If you would marry Meatsickle, she would accept you as you are.
Reply:If you would please provide a picture, I may be able to direct you on chopping stinker inhibitor off. But I can only do my best if you provide at least a 1 minute long video of you showing the cyst at all angles.
Reply:tie it off with suture , sit on a mirror for a good birds eye view.
Reply:Try and find a topical cream therapy called Cyst-Away. You spread it generously over the cyst. Let it sit for 2 minutes then remove as much of the cream as you can and ingest it. The anal cyst-infected cream combines with your digestive fluids to create a powerful mixture that will eventually travel back to your cyst. The second meeting between cream and cyst is a magical one...as you will tell by a distinct warm, then refreshingly cool sensation.